Today is one of those days when the depression is very present. I don't have anything to be depressed about, but it is here nonetheless, joining forces with the herxheimer exhaustion, fogging my too-tired imagination.
I feel like I'm reaching today, grasping at energy, at ideas, at focus, hoping to stumble across something tangible. I left a comment this morning for someone who miscarried; I reminded her that God was reaching for her, longing to hold her close, to let her know He is aching with her.
Why do I feel that I can't accept His embrace today, sitting here in my normally aching body and too-often depressed mood? I feel I don't deserve His understanding. I am used to it, after all. I go back to my work, editing a few more photos from my October wedding.
I played the piano today, and then I didn't play. I always forget how much life there is, how much ache, how much beauty in music. He gave it to me; I forget how it always touches Him.
I reach for His hand with my heart and hope in what I know of His love, the "you're not perfect, but I AM always here" love of His.
"I would have lost heart, if I had not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."
2 comments:
Your post reminded me of this song that has really encouraged me - by Matt Redman
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I’m caught in the middle of the storms of this life
I won’t turn back
I know You are near
And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
And I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We’ll live to know You here on the earth
Chorus:
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
Yes, I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You
Keep reaching out to God. In your dark and hard days He is the only real strength. Am glad you are writing. I think it helps your mind to cement what is happening and it will help you to feel God at work in your life.
I have been there - I am not there any more! God is enough.
(You might find encouragement at http://ReachingOutAndUp.blogspot.com)
I listed your site as a site for my readers hoping it will help someone . . .
Have a great weekend because of Him!
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